STR8NYC.COM- All The Juice in HollyHood! » Bossip http://str8nyc.com A lil' bit Hood with a lot of Hollywood Good! Sat, 18 Dec 2010 00:18:01 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 STR8 TALK: 8 REASONS TO DATE A WHITE MAN….LATINA’S P.O.V. http://str8nyc.com/2010/11/10/str8-talk-8-reasons-to-date-a-white-man-latinas-p-o-v/ http://str8nyc.com/2010/11/10/str8-talk-8-reasons-to-date-a-white-man-latinas-p-o-v/#comments Wed, 10 Nov 2010 16:43:38 +0000 LexAve http://str8nyc.com/?p=42666 STR8 TALK: 8 REASONS TO DATE A WHITE MAN….LATINA’S P.O.V.

Last week ya gurl, LexAve, attended Madame Noire.com panel discussion featuring actress Malinda Williams, Egypt Sherrod of 107.5 WBLS in New York, Emcee Amanda Diva, Dr. Boyce Watkins of AOL Black Voices & Your Black World, Michaela Angela Davis (formerly of Essence magazine & Honey magazine), S. Tia Brown, Mark Anthony Neal and host China Okasi (Editor of Madam Noire.com). The panelist were part of Madame Noire’s premiere event: ’8 Reasons to Address Romance in the Black Community where they discussed the explosive article – “8 Reason’s to Date a White Man” written by LaShaun Williams at Columbia University on Friday, November 5th.



The room was filled with vocal and opinionated black folk both men and women talking about the prevalent issues of romance in the black community. As a Latina in the room observing the ongoing debate about love, romance, relationships within the black community…I couldn’t help but wonder do discussions like this happen in the Latin community. I mean since blooming teenage girl all I ever dated were black and latino men. And now that I’m twenty something, exploring new ventures in my life and meeting new people on a daily basis…I’m now dating a white man. And to be honest with ya, his “whiteness” doesn’t phase me. I mean we have similar interests, similar humor, mutual attraction, etc…and although his “whiteness” is not an issue, it’s definitely an issue for my fellow Latinos. For instance, we’re riding the train from the Bronx into the city and the stare downs from older Latino men and women is hilarious. And I thought the stare downs I got when dating a black guy was bad, ha! So sad! But I digress…I just wonder if my fellow Latinas talk about dating white men vs black vs. latinos. Some of the reasons to white a guy that was discussed by the panelists were:

1. “They open wide instead of down low”-That’s a load of crap. White men are just as likely to be down low as black men. This idea and stereotype feeds into the hype and histeria about black men being down low and less of them as being available to single women.

2. “Not looking for someone to take care of them”- I don’t know the statistics on White men vs. Black men coming from more stable family structures…but from my personal experience most of the black men I’ve dating were constantly looking for a chick to care of them. Guess that explains why I’m no longer with them.

3. “Attend and graduate from college”- Well this I agree with…White men are more likely to be college educated than black men. I’m not sure if the same can be said for Latino men, since Latinos are attending and graduating college at a higher rate than before. Not to mention this new statistics about black males doing worse than bad in the education system is just horrible news.

4. “At least attempt to marry before making babies”- I disagree with this reason. Just because it’s noticed that White men don’t have children sprinkled all the over the place, doesn’t mean they didn’t impregnate a chick. There’s a little thing called abortion.

5. “They don’t glamourize ignorance”- The Madame Noire article states: “They may listen to rap music, but they are smart enough not to act it out. The “thug life” is not something to be aspired. White men have a firmer grasp on what really defines manhood.” But ignorance doesn’t just lie within rap music. There are other forms of ignorance that some white men adhere to. Not agreeing with this claim as it’s just too general of a statement.

6. “Financial planning and stability”- I totally agree with this one. White men or rather white culture are just more educated in spending their money. Rather than looking to “Floss” like most men in the black and latino community…white men are just far more interested in being wealthy than appearing wealthy. There’s a big difference.

7. “Have the ability to look beyond your past”- Another general statement. This has nothing to do with race but rather the individual itself. Claiming that white men have no problem turning a “hoe into a house wife” is just dead wrong. How do you explain these rappers wifin’ up “former” strippers? C’mon…this has nothing to do with race.

8. “Don’t take everything as a challenge to their masculinity”- I couldn’t disagree more. Whether black, white, latino…men who feel insecure or intimated by strong educated women (black, white, latina) has more to do with their own lack of self esteem and own personal weakness. Some men are just aren’t strong enough to handle a strong woman and that’s their loss. #REALTALK

Overall it was a very interesting, mind stimulating intimate conversation that deserves more discussion and less stereotypes. As for me, none of these reasons played into me dating my white guy. It just for whatever works between us. Frankly, that’s all that matters. As for my Latino community, I’m considering taking a poll and seeing where Latinas stand on this issue. Hmmm…

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